For years—nay decades, I have had this strange issue of my mental health imploding on a 3 year cycle. Little things become big. Everything becomes too much. I feel like I’m losing it.
2001: Suicidal depression, regular self injury
2004: Same, plus Adderall induced psychosis
2007: Same, plus trauma of being kicked out of my major
2010: Same, without the Adderall but with the joy of having an autoimmune disease that I associated with my grandmother’s death
2013: Actually didn’t have anything happen this year besides Shingles
2016: Genuinely considered self-destructive behaviors over the election results
2019: Dad’s dementia led to a physical assault that resulted in a call to the police. I cut myself repeatedly after that.
2022: Cycling between self-injurious impulses, severe depression, hypersexual impulses, severe body image issues, and normalcy.
I just have to make it a few more months and things will probably be better. But I fucking hate this cycle.